Category Archives: just BS

Being Predictable and Playing it Safe is not always the best advice!

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vintage-housewifeTwo nights ago I thought I’d try a new recipe. I love ceviche and have made it one other time and it turned out amazing. This time? Not so much.

The recipe was Halibut ceviche (raw fish that cooks in herbs and lime juice) and pineapple salsa. Sounds good, right? It was horrible. The first thing my husband Nick said was “Hon, stick to what you know! That’s the rule!“ Pardon me, but whose rule is that?

I’ve never been one to follow the rules or play it safe much less stick to the same ole, same ole especially when it comes to cooking. I’m an avid foodie and love to cook. I love trying new recipes. 9 times out of 10 they come out perfect. There’s likely to be a crappy recipe in the mix at some point. But I’d much rather try new things than have the same menu every week (like my Mother has always been doing for years).

I’m sure that the fact that I’m not predictable scares the heck out of a lot of folks and I add my husband into the mix. Now, I’m not talking about the fact that he will wake up one day wondering if I’m still his wife. I’m talking about trying new things, finding a new hairdo, going to new places and doing new things. Oh, and continuing to try new foods and new recipes.

Some people play it safe their whole lives and never get to experience life to the full. They eat the same places, go on the same vacations year after year, and perhaps they stay at the same job for fear of change. Change can be a good thing.

It’s these same folk that get in a tizzy when change occurs in their lives without their control. They can’t seem to handle it and spin OUT of control because of life’s circumstances.

I’m glad I inherited my mother’s curiosity and living life to the full mentality (aside from the predictable meal planning). At 76, my mom still has goals to skydive when she turns 80 and finish her missionary work in a foreign country (when my dad passes). Here she is fulfilling her bucket list of riding a motorcycle when she turned 75.

Mom and Motorcycle

Now, your homework! Try one new thing this weekend whether it’s eating at a different restaurant or doing something new and adventurous with the fam. You can do it!!!

In the end, life’s too short to eat meatloaf every Wednesday!

Keepin it Real – A closeup of my California Vacation

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ikeepsitrealHey nerds! I just got back from Southern California and I thought I’d show you a close up into my trip. YEAH that’s right, I’m making you watch my video slideshow presentation. Just pretend you’re in my living room.

I had a blast with my BFF Lorrie and the weather was fantastic.

Enjoy a look into my world and have an amazing weekend.

Are you the Worst HR Manager ever?

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I occasionally like to lighten it up over here and am often amused at what is available to us by way of the inter-webs.

Today I offer you a funny video of the Worst HR Manager ever! This is wrong on so many levels.

Valentine Horror Stories and Gifts Gone Wrong – on Huffington Post LIVE

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The other day I had the opportunity to share some of my Valentine’s horror stories and gifts gone wrong over at HuffPost LIVE. Since it’s Friday and the day after Valentine’s I thought I would share with you.

Enjoy and have a great weekend. (You’ll have to click the pic below for the video replay)

HuffPostLive_3

Finding love when you least expect it! (My personal Story)

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Finding-LoveNine years ago I went through a semi-messy divorce (I’m sure many of you can relate). I had been married for eighteen years to my “first love.” It was a very rocky marriage and when I finally said “enough is enough” like many of you, I vowed “I will never marry again it’s just too much work.”

Five years later I met this Italian from Chicago and we became friends. We started chatting via email and then on the phone. To me, it was safe because I was in Alabama and he was a million miles away in Chicago, to me a foreign land! I remember always being excited when receiving his calls. We would laugh and laugh and talked about anything and everything. We had so much in common. He would send me the sweetest letters and cards. One day he sent me my favorite flowers in my favorite color. I remember thinking, could this be Mr. Right?

Then one October we were talking on the phone and he said, “I think I’m going to come see you at Christmas, what do you think?” I swallowed hard and thought to myself, “Oh no, you’re going to ruin everything.” But found myself saying to him, “Sure, that would be great!” The next thing I knew he had a plane ticket to come for Christmas 2007. What a scary thing to meet someone in person that you had only emailed and talked with on the phone. Yet I gave in!

So, a few days before Christmas I drove to Atlanta, GA to pick him up at the airport. I was so nervous. I remember waiting at the gate for him to come through the door. He said he would be wearing the “Bubba Gump” hat I had mailed him so I would know it was him. (really?)

The next thing I knew there he was. When I hugged him for the first time I will never forget the feeling that came over me. It was as if he was coming home from a long trip. It was a feeling that  I had known him forever.

We had a long drive back to Alabama so I thought I would put in my favorite CD “Andrea Botticelli (it was really a test). No one I knew listened to Italian opera. As soon as it came on he said, “Is that Andrea Botticelli? I love him.” This was one of many things that happened that made me love him even more.

Three months later we were married. On Valentines Day! I know, that seems a bit unbelievable, but true. I can’t help but say that I know in my heart of hearts that there was a higher force at work bringing us together.

Nick and Suz Buckingham Fountain

Five years later, (today, on Valentine’s Day) we are still happily married. And like most couples we have seen our share of difficulties through moving to different locations, family dynamics, and financial hardships but I love him more today than I did when I would hear him call and say, “Hey Susan, it’s your buddy Nick from Chicago.”

I’m reminded of one anniversary a few year’s back. It was my first few months being in Chicago and away from my family and friends. Even though finances were extremely limited I made a very nice dinner of lobster and crab legs and we had a nice quiet time at home.

Afterward, I sat at the dinner table having a glass of wine and thought to myself, “I think this was one of the best times ever.” Even in little things and though we didn’t have any money to buy each other a gift….we had each other. Sometimes simple can be good!

We all can get wrapped up in expectations of “I deserve this or that” or “this is what I want”….but focusing on love, family and things that really matter help keep us in a place where we release all expectations of others and remember “It’s not about us.”

Photo Credit: Ebsqart

Ever feel like you’re living in the movie Groundhog Day?

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groundhog dayIf I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I’m not sure if that is true or not but it definitely gets one thinking.

I thought of the movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray (who happens to be a native of Chicago and a true Bears fan). This is one of my very favorite movies. It is so far-fetched and funny that I seriously laugh out loud every time I watch it. I am embarrassed to say, I’ve seen it more than 7 or 8 times (I own the DVD).

I think I can relate to it in many aspects because in my lifetime (that short span of 47 years), I have often felt that drudgery of doing the same thing – over and over and over again. You wake up, have your coffee, read a little, check your emails, get in the shower, get dressed, go to work, drive home, fix dinner, deal with the kid, deal with the husband, clean up, get the kid ready for bed and then go to bed yourself all to wake up the next day and do the same thing over and over again. It becomes a rut in which we often find ourselves.

Perception is key. How we view what we are experiencing is key to our well-being and how we will cope.

Looking back at the movie, He wakes up every day and it’s Groundhog Day. A day in which he hates. He is forced to face the same people saying the same things in this little town that he hates. He is quite miserable but watch what begins to happen as his heart starts softening up and he realized he can never get beyond this dilemma until he accepts it and changes some things in his life, especially his outlook and response to what is happening in and around him.

I encourage you to watch the movie, which by the way, was filmed just 20 minutes north of where I live in the suburbs of Chicago in a little town called Woodstock, IL. I love going there and seeing the little town which totally takes me back to the scenes in the movie. It puts a smile on my face.

A couple years ago, I was there shopping with my friend Lorrie during the Christmas holidays. We drove past the home they used as The Inn where Bill Murray stayed. Here is the picture I took.

What can we learn from all this?

Accepting what we cannot change, going with the flow, and saying to ourselves“How can I come out of this or through this alive and with a greater appreciation for those things that once brought stress, anger and depression and be the better for it all.”

Happy Groundhog Day! I hope that rascal figures it out.

Working, living and socializing with those that annoy you

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blog tuesdayI can’t tell you the number of times I have said to others (or under my breath) something that irritates me about someone I live with, work with, or do social with. Yeah, I’m kind of vocal about that. I wonder, do we all do this?

I have said to my husband “You do this or that and it irritates me! Stop it!” Or perhaps I have mentioned online about a contact that “shouldn’t be doing this or that on social media or community building” and have others give me a big “HECK YEAH! You tell em!” by others.

I have even worked with someone who was continually a “challenge” for me because of the things they said or did and judged them accordingly!

I have been smart enough to realize however, and sometimes at the most inopportune of times, that these very things that annoy me about others, I in fact, have done myself.

I once moved out of a relationship and living arrangement with a fiance’ and my moving out speech was “You didn’t live up to your bargain” only for them to come back with “Well, regardless of what you think about me, you need to know that you are no picnic to live with, either!” Wow, did that ever hurt.

I thought I was without flaws and the perfect friend, fiance’, co-worker or whatever! I was in fact, a legend in my own mind.

Sometimes we are aggravated at others in their behavior, demeanor and actions but if we take a step back will see that we have done or are doing the very same things.

Why are we so quick to judge others instead of giving grace? After all, is there anyone who is perfect? Uh, no!

I have learned this so many times over my lifetime and hopefully, have become a little more chillax and extend grace to others even when they do irritate me (for the most part). But there are times I have to be reminded or remind myself.

Let’s face it, life is hard, work, people and community can be difficult, no one knows everything and hopefully, we are all still learning.

Let’s go into this new year readily accessible to help others and not be so quick to judge. Let’s allow others along with us  room to grow. Shall we?

Image Credit: blogskins

A society of spoiled rotten, entitled brats!

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entitlementI recently flew back home to Alabama on vacation and for the most part, the trip was low-key and very relaxing.

I decided this time to fly American Airlines and I must say, it was very easy to get in and out of O’Hare airport and then arrive right into the gate and down to baggage in Atlanta with no issues. It was fairly nice.

Before leaving O’Hare I arrived at my gate rather early, which to me is so much better than getting there late and running to meet your plane, and was sitting there people watching. I noticed this woman and her very quiet withdrawn husband, keep asking the attendant if there were any available first class seats to which the attendant replied “No” every time. I shrugged my shoulders and went on playing with my phone.

It was time to board the plane and when I got to my designated coach seat (which I picked specifically because it was a window seat and I get motion sickness if I can’t see out the window) this same woman who had created a scene at the gate was sitting in my seat.

I politely said, “Um, I think that’s my seat” to which she replied, “Oh, I thought you’d rather have the seat across the aisle” (which was in the aisle on the other side of her husband). I told her no, I usually pick a window seat and told her my reasons. She came back with “Oh, you’ll be fine over there, I’d really like to sit over here by my husband instead of across the aisle from him.”

I was pissed at this time but I tried not to make a scene myself so I kindly sat down.

The flight attendant was preparing for us to depart and walked by only to be flagged down by the irritating woman in my seat who again asked her “Ma’am. Are there any First Class seats available?” The attendant assured her there were none, that it was full and received a pout from the other passenger (aka Devil’s spawn).

I looked towards the back of the plane as we were about to take off and noticed two rows in the back on both sides of the plane that were empty so I darted back there only to be chided from the other flight attendant over the intercom saying loudly and quite perturbed as if I was a terrorist  ”WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE STAY IN YOUR ASSIGNED SEAT” and one came back toward me and explained that those seats were not to be sat in due to weight issues – to which I then wondered if I was really THAT heavy and now really started thinking I should definitely go on that diet I had been putting off for several months now.

I explained to the attendant that the biatch up in the front took my assigned seat and refused to move. She couldn’t believe it and told me I could go to Exit seating but by then I said I would just go back to my other seat (which was really not my seat). Confusing, I know.

After the attendant heard my side of the story she decided to loudly talk to me saying “Ma’am, we’re so sorry someone took your seat and if there’s anything we can do for you please let us know.” She kept coming by asking me did I want FREE alcohol and food throughout the entire trip and it kind of made me giggle that this First Class wanna be was having to watch the whole thing.

What makes us feel that we’re entitled to certain things or a way of life? What makes us think that we know what others want and can make their decisions for them and pass it off as if we’re just looking out for them?

We’ve become so spoiled and think that we cannot  or will not adhere to rules or any kind of getting along with others because we’re all so stinking selfish. It’s all about us.

What happened to the golden rule of “Do unto others?” Does it really matter if we don’t fly first class for an hour and a half trip? Does our selfishness outweigh the concern for others who may have legitimate issues? Do we even care about our fellow man?

In the end I resolved not to let it bother me (oh, and to share it all on Facebook and blog). My friends felt the same as I and couldn’t believe the sense of entitlement certain people have.

Hopefully, other countries don’t see all Americans in this light. Or do they?

How the media plays on our emotions during the Holidays

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I can’t help but think of how the media plays on our emotions to sell us stuff. This is especially true during the Holidays. Are you with me?

I think back to a few years back when I would get so caught up into the hype of feeling pressured to get everyone on my list (and then some) a gift during the holidays. It stressed me out, depleted my banking accounts and put me in a real bind on my credit cards. All to “look good” in front of family and friends, with a pretense of “I love you so much I wanted to get you this.”

It’s pressure I didn’t need and don’t need today.

I’ve learned over the years that I don’t have to give in to the pressure and hype of the media to have to do anything. I’m sure some of this came about the hard way – but I wouldn’t change this feeling for the world. I don’t owe anybody anything. I don’t have to get family or friends anything for birthdays or holidays – I just don’t have that pressure that commercials make us feel, especially during Christmas. Now if I want to, that’s a different story.

Recently, a family member told me that if they didn’t bake 5 pies and ten zillion dozen cookies to go to so-and-so’s house for Thanksgiving then they just couldn’t go. I was like – wait, what?

I’m pretty sure so-and-so wasn’t expecting anything to be brought to their house but this family member had it in their brain that they HAD to do this. They put this undue pressure on themselves. This same family member (name withheld) sits and watches Christmas commercials and says “Aw, I need to go shopping before everything in the store is gone” and they don’t have a pot to pee in.

Need I say more?

The media and advertisers are there to create this fantasy in our heads so we’ll go out and get their products. That’s just a fact! They use family pics, fireplaces, and those things that remind us of what we think we need to be happy to play on our emotions so we’ll buy their stuff or go to their businesses.

Can we all get past this nonsense during the holidays?

How’s about we do it out of sheer love and generosity without having the feeling of “having to do this or that” when it comes to buying gifts or doing things for people. And if our pocket-book can’t afford it then we just send a nice card or Starbucks gift card.

Don’t go broke just to keep up with the Jones’ or because you don’t want to look bad. And don’t work all next year and never see your family, simply so you can pay off all the sh#$ you bought during the Holidays.

Give your time and love. That’s what people will remember after the stuff is gone.

Social Media; If you can be offended, you will be!

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Whether it’s email, Facebook, Twitter – putting something in writing sometimes can bite you in the rear! It doesn’t have the same affect as if you were talking to that other person – in person.

You can type out a status update and it be completely meant one way and taken in a completely different context and blown out of the water! It happens all the time.

I am probably evil because in knowing this, I sometimes use it to create (on purpose) one to contemplate “Does she mean this in this way, or that?” I ride the edge.

We have to be so careful these days what we post online in our communities as to “not offend” those in our space – whether it’s discussing race, politics, religion or if someone is tall or short. I have offended more than my share of folks in my community and have learned valuable lessons.

Sometimes there will be those who can never be pleased no matter what we share – even if it wasn’t meant for them, they will be offended. They’re soft-skinned.

I think if you’re going to put yourself out on social you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Toughen up! Not everything is about you, your gender, your race, or whether you’re a giant living among small people.

People share all kinds of stuff online from what they just ate to photos of them eating it, talk about their crazy families (okay, maybe I’m the only one that does that), to boasting about their achievements – and I could go on and on.

My point in this post is we are getting way too stressed out and offended about the most idiot stuff.

Perhaps it’s time for you to pick up the book “Don’t sweat the small stuff” once again and give it some thought. Why are you allowing these dumb postings to aggravate you and get you all out of whack?

I think this is on my mind right now because of what we all dealt with during the elections. Folks were cursing their friends, blocking, deleting like it was going out of style – just because they couldn’t agree.

Guess what? You’re never going to agree 100% of what folks share. Get over it! Life is too fragile for this kind of BS.

The great thing about online activity is if you don’t want to hear that person go on and on about whatever – you can block, delete or hide them or their updates.

Now, if we could only do that in person.

Photo Credit: APainfulTruth